I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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