I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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