I hope mine doesn't look like that
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
