he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
honey bunches of taint.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
It was confusing and full of hummus
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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