bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
