would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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