So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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