If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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