Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My breasts were aching with rage.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
