Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
