I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
