I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
