Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she told me i tasted like america
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I need to align my fucking chakras
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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