Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Randomize
