i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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