if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Randomize
