sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
