think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
