Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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