I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
