I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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