i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
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