Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
