guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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