Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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