haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
