yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
