you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
