We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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