the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
