For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
