I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
