Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
