you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
