there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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