Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
