I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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