I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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