just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize