Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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