so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
