she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I believe in your delicious
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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