Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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