your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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