but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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