I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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