Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
