Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
false alarm, still single
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