More tranny stories later!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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