hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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