she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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