dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
