Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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